I used to be the most reactive person there is. I would lightly stub my toe and every expletive would fly out of my mouth. If someone cut me off in traffic you would be embarrassed to hear me rage in the privacy of my own car. If I dropped something on the floor I would drop the F-bomb aggressively. I had a strong reaction to everything, didn't matter what it was...I would make my reaction known.
Reactivity is something we all can relate to. We are all closeted reactive machines. Lots of things set us off and we have something to say about it, usually in the privacy of our own mind. When we take on a #yoga or #meditation practice it begins to hold up the mirror and reveal this reactive side of ourselves and then slowly week after week, yoga begins to reveal the steps to polish the gem of our hearts, quiet our minds and observe ourselves with tenderness and acceptance. Through this compassionate lens we begin to shift. It is a natural part of our journey. It just happens. The poses are a deep dive into the self and they become our lenses to view ourselves. Add to these poses the deeper tools of #mindfulness and we begin to shed the layers of reactivity that clog our spiritual heart. We slowly begin to evolve, we slowly become less reactive and it is a beautiful process that I have enjoyed in my own life over the years.
The other day I was in an elevator and I dropped my keys on the floor, which historically would have been followed by a big loud aggressive "FUCK...."
As I bent over to pick them up I said "Whoopsie" and in the voice reminiscent of a Disney Princess. It immediately struck me and I began to giggle to myself. It was in that moment that a wave of #gratitude rolled through me. I don't say whoopsie...but on this day I did and as I stood back up, keys in hand, I thought to myself "look at that, yoga is working!" It might not seem like much, but that is just it, we are looking for too much. We want huge proof of yogas effect in our lives. We expect huge 180's and in that we miss the every day moments where there is proof that we are evolving (and quite beautifully).
Now don't get me wrong I am still gonna throw our the F-bomb, still have moments of strong reactivitiy, but I will celebrate the every day moments when I drop my keys and say whoopsie, or someone cuts me off and I simply brake rather than rage. In the present moment that our practice has so eloquently taught us to arrive in, I will look for and celebrate the small subtle things every day that prove yoga works. I am human, I am a work in progress, I am evolving each day and I sure as hell am enjoying the journey.